![]() The brunt of negative attention from his mother Judy (who herself had been criticized by her own mother) fell on his sister, who learned to (overly) exert control on all areas of her own life: her eating, her work, her environment, and her relationships.ĭue to the very obvious favoritism Ross received from both of his parents, his relationship with Monica has been fraught with competition all throughout childhood and even somewhat in present day. Ross, age 36, is a man who is the older brother of Monica who is two years junior. Genogram Example: Ross Geller from Friends *Scroll down for instructions on how to make a genogram. (e.g., the Hero, the Victim, the Clown, the Lost Child) (e.g., alcohol, work, pornography, substance, sex, ministry, shopping)Ĭloseness, distance, conflict, enmeshment, cut-off, (e.g., sexual abuse, sudden deaths, miscarriage) Race experiences, immigration, religion, sexism, homophobia (e.g., war, immigration, 9/11) that may have left a deep impact on the individuals and/or the family, It can reveal how a person’s experiences today make sense in the larger context of their family-of-origin and past experiences.Ī genogram is the Family Tree 3.0: not only does it reveal who’s who in the family, but it also is rich in information about: So Why the Genogram?Ī genogram is an important tool for self-awareness, personal development, and relationship development. Nevertheless, to consider one’s own experiences apart from significant environmental factors would be like trying to complete a puzzle with less than half the pieces. This is NOT to say that our childhood experiences absolutely determine who we become when we grow up. Having been so accustomed to being alone, they might have their survival mode set to “ Numb”, which may have significant implications in future relationships and mental, emotional, and physical health. The person’s significant relationships and the environment they grew up in (family, neighborhood, culture, religion, etc.) have likely majorly influenced how the person experiences, understands, and expresses anxiety and depression and how others have responded to the individual.Ī person who grew up as a latchkey, only child whose parents were rarely home because of work, addictions, or any other situation might not have had the emotional attunement and coaching needed to understand their own feelings and know what to do with them. A genogram can help make sense of all that.Ĭhances are that what the person is dealing with is ALSO a systemic issue. If someone has anxiety and depression, society often sees them to be an individual issue that therefore needs an individual solution (such as medications or “Just get over it’s”). Where fingerprints trace to die in the grains of this landĪnd erase the nightmare of my (de)colonized life.Despite the value of individualism that Western societies so pride themselves in, no one was born in a vacuum. Silence, like the lifeless force of these blank spaces Resilience which taught me existence required silence – Suffering in which survival is equated to resilience – Until the blood left my hands through this sand-papered surfaceĪnd the skeleton that remained was all that I had left to tie me to my ancestors –Īncestors whose lives have been erased through endless cycles of suffering – The toxins of this practice seeped into the marrow of my bones I released a lot of tension from unburdening the re-traumatic experiences that I’ve absorbed through the Conversations, Artwork, and Witness Reflection Poetry: Completing this artwork felt intimate, bittersweet, and cathartic. The photographs below express my own experience. Please note, it is important to take care of yourself during the process! Explore to the extent that brings you/your loved ones peace, release, and respect.Īfter creating the family genogram, create response art (with yourself or as a collaborative activity with your loved ones) to reflect. If possible, conduct interviews/conversations with family members. Start with a family tree of 3 generations or more (for example, you, your parents, and your ancestors/descendants). If you would like to complete a family genogram… Finding the strength to participate in this process is a privilege that I, and any human being, can utilize to preserve our humanity. However, by honoring the ancestors and family members who lead us to where we are today, it is possible to find (temporary) peace with the dis-/connections we have with our familial anxieties and triumphs. It can be a simultaneously insightful, complex, and traumatic experience, which may especially be true for non-traditional, adopted, mixed, larger, and/or diaspora-displaced families like my own. Decolonizing oneself (and creating a genogram to document it) is a life-long project.
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